The Waiting Hurt

This is one of the hardest times of my life.
I've graduated and am now waiting, impatiently, to hear back from prospective employers. I continue to look for new places to send my credentials and also continue to search for things to do.
You see, as of now, I don't have a job- my contract expires today. In the time until I do get a job, I am looking for stuff to occupy my time. Take, for example, blogging. I don't have the urge to do it in my apartment so instead I trudged my ass to a Starbucks to write this little thing...how cliche.
I want to write about PDC and Magic again, but as The Ferrett so eloquently put it, writing is the greatest expression of ego, and when you're not feeling so hot about yourself (no job, nothing to do), it follows that writing should not come so easy. It does not help that since the V3 update, few of my friends are on MTGO enough to get some serious playing in- I hope that changes soon.

Seriously, how good of an album is Losing Streak by Less Than Jake. It is so fucking good.

I really wish I could watch an episode of Lost and have fewer questions coming out than going in. That's not going to happen for a while.

Disconnected

I graduated. I feel like this awesome song right here:

Connect/Disconnect

It has been a long few days. I finished my Master's level coursework.
I'm done.
How fucking scary is that?
I'm setting up interviews that are going to help determine the rest of my life. The rest of my life? I never knew what I wanted to do after I finished college and now I'm getting ready to be a full fledged adult.
Well...it is me, so I'll just be a kid forever...but still.
It's been days of bad jokes and bad decisions. For the first time in a long time, a cute girl commented on the shirt I was wearing (Bouncing Souls skull and crossbones). We start talking...and I don't ask for the number.
To be fair, she was the cashier at Starbucks, and Trish believes she was jail bait. Still, it was the closest I've had to anything in a while.
What the fuck is up with Lost? I hate that show so much I love it. I really just want one episode to end with me having fewer questions than when the episode started.

Is this really happening? Am I really growing up? I still wake up and think I'm 17.

Hand puppets need to make a comeback.

This is a great song:

But she doesn't get the jokes told by the late night talk show hosts...

I've been back from Atlanta for a week. The trip was a success, but I honestly didn't think of a good play list for the trip. Sorry, I'll try and do better the next time.
It is a tiring time right now. Between finishing school and trying to do my job search, I am simply knackered all the time. Not only that, but I've run out of interesting things to talk about.
The Mets: Please start playing like I know you can. You're a better team than the one you've been in the past week.
Magic: Wrote another article, but MTGO is shutting down for a week to update to V3. Looks like I'm heading back to WoW.
Dreams: Still absurd. Still no relief.
I'm just looking to that new job as a time where I can reestablish a life and settle down for a little bit. That'd be nice.

Give me mercy and a minute now...

I've been introspective and contemplative lately- a deadly combination for the graduate student. On top of my comprehensive exams on January 25th (which I know I will pass, I just hate the anticipation) and the job application process, I am a mess of nerves and knots. My application process goes something like this:
1) Get all dolled up and post my resume on multiple websites
2) Scan said websites for jobs I want
3) Go to conferences to interview
4) Jump through hoops
5) Pray
6) Go back home and bartend if all else fails
In all seriousness, I'm sure I'll get a job, but again, it's the anticipation that is killing me.
On top of that, I keep coming home to an empty apartment. I have a roommate and food and I'm turning this place into a home, but I don't have anyone to come home to and lean on. Since my last serious relationship ended, I haven't been able to really connect with anyone- friend or otherwise. This has caused me to ruin otherwise decent "not as serious" relationships, and left me to deal with all this stress by myself. Like, I don't want someone to dump on, but, and I'm not lying here, it would be nice to come home once in a while, and just have a hug after a long day. The joys of being a bachelor- and one of my own design.
One a side note, everyone should listen to the Gaslight Anthem...they're just awesome: