Thursday, September 2, 2010


So I'm on jDate, partially because work keeps me from having a social life and partially because it is way easier to get rejected online than face getting shot down in real life.
I had been speaking with a woman for a few days who seemed awesome, but kept alluding to a secret. When she told me that she was seeing someone, but that it wasn't going well, I put that in the secret column.
So we chat, and things are going well (to me at least) and then she asks me, as a former sex educator (gotta love Grad School Assistantships) how would I advise someone with an STD to have a healthy sexual relationship. I assume it's for a friend she had told me she was helping.
I say something to the effect of safe sex and an understanding partner. I then also say that personally, I wouldn't feel comfortable sleeping with someone with Herpes or HIV. She replies:

"I guess this is goodbye."

Before I can really fully process what I'm writing to her or what she wrote back, she goes:

"You won't even get to know me" and then cuts off contact.

The thing is, I felt bad. I didn't like that. As I see, I got to know her: she kept two important pieces of information from me (relationship status AND sexual health). At this point in my life, I'm not looking to date, I'm looking to meet someone for something a little more long term, so I want someone I can sleep with safely. Is that so much to ask? I am taking steps to protect myself and any potential future partners. But no, in this scenario, I am cast as a villain.

As if internet dating isn't hard enough. Seriously, I am sick of women writing "please be 5'9"." Seriously? I mean, I understand- I'd rather have someone tell me up front than hide her reservations about my size from me and let them out in small bursts culminating in a ten minute dumping via phone, but it still stings.

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