Tuesday, December 16, 2008

For a blog named Nerd to the Core, I don't talk about nerd things an awful lot.
So George Lucas basically pillaged everyone's childhood when he released his back story for the Star Wars Trilogy. Instead of leaving everything to our imagination, which he helped to build, he used computers to turn Darth Vader from the baddest motherfucker of all time into someone who cries in his bedroom as Dashboard Confessional plays on loop.
But that's another story...this one is about Stormtroopers. What the fuck happened in the 20 year gap? In the Original awesome movies, these guys could not shoot for shit. They never hit anyone. In the prequels, they were able to take down nearly every freaking Jedi in the galaxy. Old ones, they couldn't hit a farmer with a giant glowing vibrator. What the hell George?
I mean, the Empire was able to acquire the wealth of the galaxy, so training methods didn't decline, and there were more troopers during the Awesome era than during the Shitty one, so the numbers argument is out. No, Georgie not only ruined our childhoods, he also can't keep his stories straight.
I mean, seriously. The fucking shot down Obi-Wan while he was climbing up a cliff...and a legion of them couldn't kill Luke? I call Bull Shit!
If George had done those original movies right (no love story, no Jar-Jar, no midichlorians, less Yoda speak, no Chewbacca, no immaculate conception) they could have been the ultimate nerdgasm. You know, those moments that make nerds everywhere smile and sigh as if everything is right with the world.
The Dark Knight
World War Z
Them getting the Watchmen movie right

No, instead of every nerd world wide being able to experience the same emotions associated with great sex, George Lucas left us with sloppy seconds.

Thanks George for waving your prick through our childhood and getting your herpes stain all over it.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

So here I am, watching the Magic World Championships after having cooked and devoured some delicious pasta (and breaking my pepper mill thanks to the floor).
Oh, and I've had something to drink. Totally inadvertently. I bought a large beverage at the market yesterday and decided to enjoy it tonight. Well, it's stronger than most and larger than most...so I am nice right now.
I was talking to my friend today about how I feel old. I'm a week away from 25 and just feel very mediocre. Maybe it's because the plans for this weekend fell through or maybe it's because I'm approaching the quarter century mark, but I am just feeling very meh. I want to do stuff and find people with whom I can be social...and cuddle with.
Yeah, I know. It's been a year since my last date and I'm just in that "I need human contact phase." I know it's natural and normal to feel this way, and I'm sure it's exacerbated by my beverage, but ugh...
Sorry to have complained...I just needed to get it off my internet chest.
Magic Worlds: Awesome
Mets off season moves: Awesome
Dark Knight of DVD: Awesome
Sanctioned Pauper on MTGO: really awesome

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Come dance with me or I'll explode

Well, my Thanksgiving break was pretty awesome (Aside from the leak in my apartment from the person living above me). I got to see my family and catch up with some old friends at the SLC Alumni party.
The party was great- lots of drinking occurred (or at least I think it did, considering the hit my wallet took). It's always weird to go back and hang out with people who remember you as a kid. I mean, I'm always having to shed the aura I had as the awkward kid. Now, I'm just the awkwardly cool adult...with a beard! That counts for something, right?
Back then I didn't own being a nerd-being different. When you're a kid in a summer camp being different is a death sentence. I was short, a late bloomer, and really an all around mess- the quintessential nerd. Of course, now I own that shit. Hell yeah Optimus Prime would take down Mario in a battle royal, everyone knows that.
I was exposed to just how uncomfortable people get around proud nerds at dinner with some other friends that same Saturday. We were talking about books and World War Z/Max Brooks came up. If you haven't read the work of Brooks (Mel's son) I highly suggest that you do- they are fucking phenomenal. Anyway, the conversation turns the the Zombie Survival Guide and the proper way to evade zombies. There I am, talking with one other person in a completely serious tone about the proper techniques for evading zombie death and how it has influence my workout regimen (more cardio!) and there were more than a few perplexed stares. Fuck it I was owning my nerdness and it felt great.
Nerds plus whiskey = bad times however, and at the alumni party I was reminded how it felt as a kid. In other words, I got shot down more time than Dick Cheney's hunting partner. And then I get home and sign into the jDate experiment only to find I am being ignored.
I fail to see why internet dating should give people the right to be bigger assholes than they would be in real life. At least in a bar if I try to mack it with someone and they turn me down, they at least tell me "No." On the internet, I am just ignored- not even a downcast stare. I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were hot shit over there on your side of the internet dating. At least have the decency to say "sorry, I'm not interested." It's common courtesy people. No wonder your using this site.
Yeah, I know, I am too- but not after my subscription runs out.
My friend has been deluging me lately with worries about this guy she met, saying he hasn't gotten in touch with her. Same woman told me to not get in touch with women I may be interested in because I want to appear disinterested. She can't follow her own advice she gave me. Then again, who can follow their own advice- it can't be done.
Okay, I'm done for now.