Friday, October 31, 2008


Okay, this week has been absurd.
First, thanks ConEd for totally ruining my weekend and forgetting how to hook up our campus to power. You get the gold medal of life. Morons.
Next, the Phillies won the world series. Now, as a Mets fan, I was going to begrudgingly give them credit.
But everything I have heard out of their mouths after the night they won has been about how they are better than the Mets.
Hey, morons, we know- you won the World Series, the Mets did not make the play offs.
Is your inferiority to New York so ingrained in your collective nut sacs that whenever you get a twinge of joy or anything resembling an erection that you have to remind yourselves that you are some how superior to my home city? We get it- you won, we didn't. Isn't that enough?
Apparently not, since at the parade today, Jimmy Rollins decided to talk smack about the Mets. Except head to head, the Mets won the season series. What the fuck Philly?
I had more to type, but I forgot it in rage.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

I had a dream...

..that Barack Obama was performing with the Dillinger Four.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Shards of Alex

This was supposed to be an entry about my experience in the Shards of Alara release events on Magic Online. I cashed out from Traders, bought my cards and settled in to play. I won round one on the back of a strong Exalted chain, and was getting ready for round two when I got a bleep on my phone from security, asking me about this evening's event. We work it out.
Round two starts and I lose game one. Game two, I get bleeped and they need me there. I scoop, drop, and get dressed, only to get bleeped that I am no longer needed. Of course.
Don't get me wrong, I love my job, but the one time I invest in something, this happens.
Oh well, can't complain more than I have. I really do love it here, but have no one to complain to, so I'm complaining here!
Instead I dropped some of my Traders earnings on some common playsets and have been building new decks all night. This Standard is a ton more fun than the previous one.
But now for stuff for the people who have no idea about my sick twisted hobbies...
I never really understood why my friends come to me for relationship advice. I mean, I don't have the best track record in that field, but people confide in me and apparently I am quite sage in this area. Who knew? In the past two months, three separate people have come to me for advice and I have been helpful.
So is totally awesome. As one student astutely noticed, I am addicted to music, and this website totally feeds my addiction. Now I can listen to just about anything I want to at work. Awesome.
This + punkradiocast + pandora = good times!
So, I'm in here for the rest of the night, and hopefully nothing will happen.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Backstreet Boys =/= Baseball

Okay, seriously, I don't care that they are from Tampa Bay. The Backstreet Boys are just not baseball. They are not hard-nosed, running out double play, home run hitting musicians. They should be no where near the world series. They should be closer to a drainage pipe outside a leper colony.
Also, seriously, what the hell is up with Kevin Kennedy on the Fox coverage? The first thing he mentions before game one is how the Phillies beat out the Mets. Hey, Kevin, genius, the Mets did not even make the playoffs. You totally neglected to mention how they beat the Brewers and the Dodgers, two actual playoff teams, on their way to the World Series. Nice going jackass, twist the knife deeper. Shave your mustache.
For what it's worth, let's go Rays. I hate the Phillies, and I hope they fail miserably.
Why did it take me this long to find out about Last.FM? I really love this site and it has become part of my regular musical rotation at my desk. I am sure all the students really love walking into my office and hearing Polar Bear Club blaring, if they're lucky. I know I have a distinct taste in music but I enjoy being able to listen to music while I work. Heck, I love having a car because it means that when I drive people places, I get to impose my musical will upon them.
Anyway, I love this shit. I can just tool around all day rocking out. It also makes suggestions for things I might like, which is cool- I'm always looking to learn about more music. However, I am wary since they've also recommended that I order cheese on my hookers.
That must be a bug.
back to the point- how the hell do you approach a touchy subject, like free speech? I never want to take away the rights of people to express their view point (I keep a blog for fuffs sake), but I am dealing with people who are not really expressing anything. They just restate information without reporting, and seem to have no regard for grammar and spelling. I am a bit of an ass about this, since I write often, was an English major, and spent time as an editor. Yes, I'm one of those douches who actually goes around looking for mistakes. Yet, when you publish something and out it out there, you don't want to spell committee comity (even though comity is a word).
Yes, I do work at a institution of higher learning.

Monday, October 20, 2008

The stories of my life

A conversation had over G-chat, names have been changed to protect the innocent

Ash: so my drummer, steve was out of his mind drunk saturday night
me: And?
Ash: well, james and i notice that he was sitting on the couch talking to this girl
and we were like "go steve!"
we walk outside for a bit
come back and he's got his tounge down her throat
we were like "yes!"
i go to grab another delicous pbr and i come back watching then go upstairs to a bedroom
we all start chanting steve's name
because we're retarded
we ask him the next day how things were
he said not so good
me: How not good?
Ash: i preface this by saying it is gross
steve had a bad case of whisky not much was happening after like an hour
Ash: so he goes and turns the light on to get dressed
and there's blood everywhere
he screams "OH MY GOD!!!"
me: Did he chop it off?
Ash: he might has well have
apparently, in his drunken stupor, he thought he was bleeding
me: But...
Ash: nope
me: Dude, what happened....
Ash: exactly what you think happened
me: It fell off?
Or did he rub it raw?
Dude, you cannot leave me hanging here.
me: Please dude, please, end the stomach is lurching in anticipation.
Ash: dude
please tell me you're not serious
me: I mean like, it's turning...I need closure.
Ash: alright fine
he asked macguyver later if she was a virgin
he started laughing hysterically
and said "you have period blood on your dick!!"
me: Wow, you know what...after like all that
Right before you typed it, I got it.
This just proves how long it's been since I've been anywhere close to a woman and her lady-parts.
Ash: hahahahahaha
i was gonna say...

Sunday, October 19, 2008

I was working for the weekend, but I got fired.

I feel like I wasted this weekend. I mean, it started off great. I got second place in Classic PDC and my parents came up for some exploring. But then I got some awful stomach cramps and ended up staying in bed for four hours farting up a storm. This is what happens- I get gassy and cramps, so I have to lay down and fart.
So I was woken up by the Breast Cancer Walk this morning and couldn't fall back asleep. I'm all for good causes, but do they have to happen right outside my window? And then I was confined to my apartment since the roads by me were all blocked. This ate up a good chunk of my day since I had to wait to go grocery shopping, and being the stubborn ass I am, I couldn't do anything else until after I had finished my shopping. But I bought steak, so I made steak. It was good steak, but a bit tough. I enjoy cooking and ate well, and now I have sandwich meat for the week. I heart leftovers. Actually, I don't. I would much rather have people over to eat my food. Any takers? I make delicious vittles.
Tonight there's a ton of good TV. A new Futurama movie, a new Family guy, and game 7 of rays-Red Sox. I am going to be doing a ton of flipping back and forth, but hopefully I'll get all the laughs and excitement that should be coming my way. Although I would much rather be out partying it up with woman and making questionable decisions about orifices, I'll settle for some good old fashion television.
Futurama is one damn funny show. It just hits all the right notes and makes me feel good all over, kind of like Gold Bond. It might just make me skip the other greatness.
Is this what the weekend is? Wasted time and regrets? I mean, I tried to do things, but the weekend just got away from me. I need to start doing stuff week nights as well.
You ever get an album and just listen to it over and over and over? I got a copy of Cuban Ballerina by Dead to Me and have not been able to stop listening. It is catchy and upbeat with great lyrics and fantastic hooks. It is a wonderful blend of pop-punk and hardcore that just makes me want to dance. I know what you're thinking- he can't dance. That's how good this album is- it makes me want to make a bigger ass out of himself than usual. I mean, I could imagine rocking out to this album, or playing it in Obi-Wan while I floor it, or during other things. You know those things. Oh what things I would do while listening to this album.


Friday, October 17, 2008

Like a kid on the fist night of Chanukah

Getting into a band right before their new album comes out can be a great experience. You get to gorge on everything that;s out there in an orgy of musical joy.
And then there's the anticipation of that new album. wanting ti expand upon the experience of this great new aspect of your life. Then the album comes, and you have those wonderful moments of discovery of listening through it a few times to appreciate it as something totally new. On top of all that, you have the history right there to hear that growth.
This has been my experience with the new Dillinger Four album. I only got into the band about a month ago and have devoured their catalog. Then I got my copy. It took me a while, but I'm digging this album more and more. It really is quite awesome and a great extension of what they have done before.

Now I'm looking for things to do tonight. None of my friends are really coming up to where I live for a drink so I'm going to fall back on the skills I learned while I was looking for a job: drive to a bar, have a beer, sober up, leave. Until I establish some social ties up here, that is going to be my life.
I thought i was going to be getting involved in a band, but my contact has basically ignored me for the past three days, which is either a sign of being busy, or she utterly despises me.
Which do you think?

Thursday, October 16, 2008

And it feels like summer in October

You ever get a song stuck in your head for a few minutes,and you have the sudden urge to listen to that song, and then you get home, and you can't remember that song for anything. That sucks. That is how I started my day.
This entire four day week has messed with my head. Columbus Day knocked me out of whack and took the life out of a perfectly good rock show. We booked the Andrea Doria (you know, that band I wrote about before) to play and they seriously rocked. They know how to put on a show, regardless of venue, and you can really feel the love and passion in their set. It was just a shame more people didn't show up to enjoy their set.
Maybe next time, we booked them to come back in a month, and this time people won't be gone for the long weekend. It should be a rocking good time, some come out and dress like a pirate...or a hobo...or a zombie.

It scares me that there are people in this country that believe the Bible word for word. Now, I consider myself a spiritual person- I believe in some higher power. But personally, I don't know how one group's infallible book is any more truthful than another group's infallible book. I mean, if both books are equally awesome, shouldn't someone's head explode?

There should be a rule- if you break up with someone, everyone in the world has to discontinue using the scent that person used. It's only fair.

I want to get out. I am looking for awesome people with good taste in music in the greater White Plains area to help me find good bars and awesome things to do. I am a fun guy to hang out with since I resemble a leprechaun while drunk and have been known to jig...poorly. So, for the low low price of a can of PBR and some whiskey, this blog can be the sights of your drunken exploits!

Back to the Andrea Doria- they crashed at my place..myspace? and they are just awesome guys. We had a blast trying to find a decent bar and found a special on beer. We ended up getting a round of Negra Modelo's cheaper than a round of Miller Lite. Now I don't know about you, but that makes for a good night.

That's all for now...please tell me how to make this suck less.
Oh, and if you are a punk band looking for a bass player, I know how to adequately play the bass.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Hey hey hey hey

You ever have one of those conversations that was all at once comforting, perplexing, and utterly infuriating? I had one of those the other day. My life was going great and then I get into this little convo with someone. I wasn't expecting to speak with her, but then we get to talking and I realize the motive behind the chat is to have me life her up while she's feeling down.
Didn't I leave this party before?
Or maybe I was kicked out...
But it's okay, because just a little while after, I had another conversation that restored some faith in my ability to be an all around awesome person. Those are the best conversations, and they usually involve someone asking what's going on in your situation...if you know what I mean.

I mean situation I'm referring to the parts of your body covered up by censor bars on network television.

Back on topic, as if there was one in the first place. All of you out there should join Tiny Adventures on Facebook and then proceed to buff and heal my character. It's only half as sexual as it sounds, and the game itself is a great time waster. It combines the leveling aspect of World of Warcraft without the insane commitment of time and money. It's a win-win for the nerd in all of us.
This weekend my old roommate Mark is coming down and playing a show here. Afterward, he and his band are crashing at my place, which explains why I cleaned up. These are all cool guys- I wrote about them before at some point. I'm excited because he'll be the first one of my friends to visit my new place and then help me discover the local bar scene- shot not designated driving. This is just what I need to show off my new sense of self worth and amazing physique- and one of those is true.
It is also a chance to show this town what a dirty old man can do with some PBR and Whiskey. This should make for an interesting Sunday morning routine.
Oh well, it should be a blast!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

I'm a big weenie

I say this cause I'm watching House, and for some reason, am tearing up a bit.
Oh hey look, it's a sensitive guy- he must be emo.
No, I just cry at TV...and movies...and all the time.
Working in my profession is interesting. You meet people who want the easy way out and want someone to clean up their messes for them, even before they are messes.
I am a little surprised at this, even though I'm sure I was the same way.

People really need to learn when to wear leggings and when to wear not leggings.

Tonight we party like hobos!

So I just finished the first event I programmed from start to finish, and it was awesome! Students came out, the bands rocked it hard and everyone looked like they were having a blast. It made me content, and it also made me want to play in a band again.
I came home, flipped on the Hartke and started playing the bass again for a long time.
It felt good. I can feel the tips of my fingers getting hard.
My life is full- I'm active and working. I am writing again, here and about the cards. Now I just need to find a band in which to play.
To craigslist!
Craigslist, the haven of those with limited social skills and weird sexual desires. And now it is my hope for finding a way to play bass and pound out the same three chords for 120 seconds.
Hopefully, this will work out.

I miss being in a band.

Friday, October 3, 2008

The good thing about being a Mets fan right now...

is that I am not a Cubs fan. I mean, fuck, I would hate to be a fan of that team. At least our team isn't a tease. The Cubs are like, your about to score on prom night and your get out the rubber, and your dick just falls off- right there- four times in a row.
And then your date runs away with that guy who just moved in from New York. And he scores. In front of you. A lot.
The Mets had the decency to break our hearts in the regular season, so for that, I thank them.

I have to be careful with what I write here. You see, I am a college administrator and heaven forbid someone comes across and reads my ideas and vulgarity. Like they'd be terribly offended about my thoughts and not the fact that I write pages upon pages about a card game. No, the fact I talk about microwaving cats or post ridiculous Star Wars pictures is the real scary thing. Sigh.
One good thing about my job is that I get to book bands to play (for very little money). It's still cool to just be like, watching music and knowing you helped make it happen. You know, cause I really suck at playing music.
I continue to say absurd things at work and I can't stop myself. It's one of those places where I just feel comfortable, so all sorts of weird shit pops out of my mouth. I should pull a Norm MacDonald from "Dirty Work" and just record everything I say, you know, with a bad affect and Canadian accent.
DW was an underrated movie. Anything that features an army of hookers is good by me. Combine that with nut punches and Adam Sandler as Satan, and you have a late night classic.

And we're back. My boss just called me (well, bleeped me on a NexTel). She's quite awesome and it's nice that she informs me of her brain farts. I, instead, inform her of how I sit in pizza. I'm just that awesome.

I have to start writing again, and this is the start. I have a couple of editing gigs that might be coming my way, and I really want to take advantage of them. Hey, it might be a card game, but it's one I love.