I've been introspective and contemplative lately- a deadly combination for the graduate student. On top of my comprehensive exams on January 25th (which I know I will pass, I just hate the anticipation) and the job application process, I am a mess of nerves and knots. My application process goes something like this:
1) Get all dolled up and post my resume on multiple websites
2) Scan said websites for jobs I want
3) Go to conferences to interview
4) Jump through hoops
6) Go back home and bartend if all else fails
In all seriousness, I'm sure I'll get a job, but again, it's the anticipation that is killing me.
On top of that, I keep coming home to an empty apartment. I have a roommate and food and I'm turning this place into a home, but I don't have anyone to come home to and lean on. Since my last serious relationship ended, I haven't been able to really connect with anyone- friend or otherwise. This has caused me to ruin otherwise decent "not as serious" relationships, and left me to deal with all this stress by myself. Like, I don't want someone to dump on, but, and I'm not lying here, it would be nice to come home once in a while, and just have a hug after a long day. The joys of being a bachelor- and one of my own design.
One a side note, everyone should listen to the Gaslight Anthem...they're just awesome: